Sick Days and Lifetime

I haven’t missed a day of school all year, until this week.  I’ve been sick every day since last weekend and finally called in several days this week.  My mindset is completely different when I’m sick and at home.  Suddenly showers are out, sloppy clothes are in, and pathetically lazy behaviors appear.

I’ve reconnected with the television this week; it’s been awhile.  I know how sixteen year old unmarried girls feel when they are pregnant—thanks to MTV.  I’ve discovered that the 24 hour news cycle—actually repeats news stories during the day.  And then there are the movie channels with one standing out…Lifetime.  It has been dubbed the channel for women and I can understand after watching a week of movies.

It got me to thinking about my marriage and all of the excitement I’m missing.  Where is the romance and mystery these days?  I mean we are going on 30 years—but according to Lifetime, that is no excuse.  

So I’m staring at my husband and he notices, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, just staring at you.” what I said; but my mind had already taken off.  What if he really wasn’t who he said he was?  Maybe he secretly had another life and I’m just a fraction of it.  Does he really go to the bank every day?

Or, someone at work has been secretly attracted to me and that person has become a stalker on our family.  We are getting strange phone calls and I get the sensation that somebody is watching me.  One day our mail has been opened…in the mailbox; fresh footprints outside our windows and cigarette butts lying on the ground (we don’t smoke).  So I tell my husband and he takes charge and saves our family from utter destruction.  In the process we peel away the years and discover a new love for each other.

Maybe one day a beautiful lady shows up asking if she could become our housekeeper.  We say yes and she starts working for us.  But then unbeknown to me, she is secretly in love with my husband. (He has no idea because he is passionately in love with me)  But she has plans to kill me and take my place.  Strange things start happening around the house and I become suspicious.  It all comes to a head one afternoon and she is holding me down with a knife to my throat.  Suddenly my husband shows up and saves me.  She goes to prison for life; and once again we look at each other with a renewed sense of purpose.

Sigh…..

As I’m sitting there thinking my husband comes back into the room with big grin on his face.  “I made the morning coffee for you!”

Then it dawns on me…romance is in the eyes of the beholder.  I’ll take pre-made coffee any day; somebody needs to call Lifetime!