Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Farm(s) For Sale

No don't rub your eyes--you are reading this correctly.  After two years of attending my farms; I am officially putting them on the market.  It was okay in the beginning...a small piece of property with just the basics.  Enough to survive comfortably on--with a little extra left over--for the lean years.

Then I let success go to my head and pursued more land.  No more was I content with a small plot.  I had to have bigger and better things.  Friends were thrown by the wayside as I hunted for those who would be my neighbors.  Relationships were lost as I had no need for those who would not accept my neighbor requests.  I could unfriend on facebook faster than an egg drops out of a chicken--well,  I guess it drops out fast due to the laws of gravity.  I've never seen an egg drop from a chicken--on the farm it was done in the hen house.

I became the owner of four farms---yes four farms!  Two of those farms I used an alias--legal loopholes that I'm sure existed.  One of those farms I flew over to England-in a hot air balloon no less!  Yes, I had a country farm in England.  Very peaceful.....until strange things starting occurring.

All of a sudden I had to have a pub on my farm and brew ale!  I don't even drink but I found myself planting crops that would make the best drinks ever.  Then the breeding started....if I put a male pig with a female pig--poured love potion on them--they would disappear behind curtains and then....a piglet would appear.  The same thing happened with the sheep! 

Then the sheep and pigs started to appear in different colors--crazzzzy colors!  That's when I started thinking---maybe it's time to sell.  The clincher for me was when Lady Gaga suddenly appeared as my neighbor.  No joke--I didn't invite her; she just showed up.  Every day I was being asked to plant purple crystals to be able to hear her sing.  Well I don't want to hear her sing---I don't like her and I really wanted her off my farms.

That's it--this is America; I can sell my farms and move on to greener pastures.  So if you're interested let me know--I'm sure they will go cheap.  As for me I've moved on to bigger and better things....like a Garden that goes back into time!

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