Pre-Valentine's Blues

My Grandparents

I miss them--my grandparents.  I wasn't really thinking about them on Sunday; just a feeling I had that day.  Making chili and I needed to run to Publix; it was the flowers that made me pinpoint the sadness.  The flowers were everywhere, it was like I had just walked into a Valentine Florist Shop.   They were the only two people in this world who made me feel a special kind of special.  

I miss talking to them and as I'm paying for my juice I could feel tears swelling.  So I put on a big smile, hoping to fool my heart and barely made it out of the store, before they fell.  There was a family behind me and a grandmother and her grandson were having a very loud argument because he didn't want to be there; he wanted to play.  She was buying him something for Valentine's Day and he said he didn't want anything from her.  It was tragic--but we've all been there--bad days--caught up in the moment.  So I just said a prayer for them and made it to my car.  

I'm not a pretty crier-nose turns very red and eyes swell up like a balloon.  So I put on my large Audrey Hepburn glasses and go walking. 

"Lord, I'm sad and I miss my grandparents.  They were and are special to me--one of a kind.  Take the sadness and help me be appreciative of people."

I think what impresses me most is the way the way they handled their end of life.  I made a comment to my husband that I would never let someone take care of me--no way.  But it's not true and that was a rash statement.  My grandmother's last coherent thoughts were of her children and trying to make things easier for them.  My grandfather's biggest fear in life was being placed in a nursing home.  When the time came, he did everything he could to make the transition easier for his children.  The staff loved him because he had such a good attitude.  So they have left an example of how to let go; let go of the familiar and enter into things that you never thought would happen.

They made life special--literally--every sleep over I had was my little piece of heaven on earth.  One New Year's Eve we were watching an old movie and when the clock struck twelve we all got up and starting dancing around the living room.  Acting silly and just having fun.  It wasn't all perfect-but I choose to remember the good and learn from the hard times we had.  

I feel they were taken too soon; but it's not my decision.  Life and death are in God's hands; as it should be.   So by the time this is posted; it will actually be post-Valentine's Day.  Remember the song, Love is in the air?  Love is in our very fibers that make up what we call life.  We are all a product of those who have been or are a part of us now.